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My Grandfather Hurt Me (triggers).

Discussion in 'Your Story' started by Andrew63, Nov 6, 2011.

  1. Hi everyone this is my story.

    At the age of 8 years old my grandfather suggested to my parents that I could spend the weekends and school holidays at his house to be company for my uncle (my grandmother had passed away ) and my uncle is about 2 years older than I am.

    During the day my uncle and I would play together like brothers but at night it was very different. I had to sleep in the double bed with my grandfather. I would be in bed by 8.00pm but was woken up by my grandfather as he pulled me across the bed held my small wrists together and stripped away my pyjamas, he would take hold of my penis and say "I have your tail" it was then that he would turn me onto my side and proceed to rape me. No matter how I tried to get away he would keep hold of me, all I could do was start to cry with the pain.

    The abuse would continue each weekend and holidays until I was about 11 years old. I started to wear my underpants to bed under my pyjamas thinking this would stop him (I was very wrong). It only seemed to annoy him for he would be more aggressive as he abruptly stripped me naked. He would tell me "big boys don't wear anything to bed so from now on you won't either". I would have to go to bed naked I would lay there shivering, not from the cold but from fear, it was now easier for him to rape me again.

    The abuse wasn't confined to his bedroom. He took my sister, my uncle, and I on holiday. We stayed in a motel room and even though my sister and uncle were only a small distance away he still removed my pyjamas and penetrated me under the blankets.

    I know I was not the only small boy who he molested as he told me that when my uncle had a young friend stay over he walked into the bathroom as my uncles' friend was in the shower, it was then that he abused him. I think it was his way of telling me that he could do whatever he wanted as no one would believe 2 small boys (my uncles' friend never stayed over again).

    My grandfather has now passed away and I am now left to try and repair the damage that he did to me. I see my counsellor once a week I am slowly starting to speak of the terrible things that my grandfather did to me...........................Andrew.

    <Basic grammar edited by Cherryblossom>
    cherryblossom likes this.
  2. I applaud you for getting this out!!!
    Andrew63 likes this.
  3. Hi Marie,Thankyou finally posting my story is my next step to healing.Thanks andrew .
    cherryblossom and Marie E. like this.
  4. Well done, Andrew. I'm so sorry you went through this. So horrifying to be betrayed like that by someone you should have been safe with.

    Your avatar breaks my heart. I hope one day the little boy inside of you doesn't feel like he has to hide his face - he did nothing to be ashamed of. That shame belongs entirely to your abuser. (((((((hugs)))))))
  5. Hi ptsdkate, Thankyou my avatar reflects exactly how i have lived with my csa for the past 40 years.Andrew
  6. Brucielucy

    Brucielucy I am Worth Something!! Staff Member

    Hi Andrew,

    Well done for sharing your story. I am so sorry that you went through something so horrific, but am glad that you have found us here on this forum. I hope you are able to find some comfort on here. I am glad to read that you are seeing a counsellor and hope the healing process is progressing well.
  7. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Administrator Staff Member

    Sincerely well done for sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear what you have been through. I hope this forum, and your strength helps you find some healing.

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